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HUH? WHAT
DID HE SAY?
GLOSSARY OF ALL THE BS THAT KOMS OUT
#FREEJAYNE
Long suffering Manager, Hairstylist, Videographer, Editor of BRWM
"Give Jayne a break, Phill.... #FREEJAYNE"
A-to-B-er
Person that uses a bicycle as a mode of transport, not necessarily a KOM Hunter but still say hello!
"There's an A-to-B-er"
BRWM
Bike Racing Without Mercy
"BRWM is a YouTube Legend that takes Waaaaaay to long to drink his greens"
Bales
Gentleman's Hairdressers in Minehead, est 1887. Family business where Bullet works.
"Setting my alarm for 5.30 am to make sure I'm first in the line at Bales' tomorrow morning"
Bib
Funny all-in-one leotard thing for cyclists, with padded bum bit
"Naaatttt, where's my bib?"
Big Jay
The Boom to the Kom Hunters' Bang. Married to Little Ros. Also loves to MTB.
"Come on Big Jay, lead me out for this KOM"
Big River
Bristol Channel
"You can see Wales across the Big River"
Bont
Like Nike for cycling shoes. Makers of Vapor S
"Got my Vapor S's on today"
Bottom bracket
The bit that holds the cranks on, usually the creaky bit
"I think my bottom bracket needs replacing"
Bullet Bale
Local cycling legend and good friend, aka Nathan
"Bullet Bale is on fine form at the moment"
Bum cream
Key component of any cyclists' kit, helps to prevent chaffage and saddle sores
"Oh bugger, forgot to put my bum cream on today"
Canon
Vlogging and thumbnail camera
Canyon Aeroad
Epic KOM Hunting machine
"Hell, look at that weapon"
Canyon No-Road
Canyon Aeroad offroad - see Canyon Aeroad
Cleats
Fit onto the bottom of your cycling shoe so that you can clip into clipless pedals
"All this walking up the hills is wearing my cleats out"
Clipless pedals
Pedals that allow you to clip your cleats/shoes into them
"I've got to change my pedals to these new clipless ones"
Conk/er
Former local cycling legend, now he's a runner
"Conk's got this KOM, I'm never going to get that one"
Crank
The bit the pedals go on
"I once buggered a crank right up, because I didn't grease the pedal"
Cycling Hub
YouTube Funny Fuc.. Fellas
"Go and watch Pritch on the YouTubes"
David Bray
Not David Gray. Heads up the Exford division of KOM Hunters
"Have you seen David Bray recently?"
Di2
Electric (battery) gear-changing system
"I must charge the Di2 before tomorrows big ride"
ED
EdLav / Ed Laverack
"Hill Climbing Champ, and a KOMdesign client - Future Leadout man for me"
Ed Laverack
Hill Climb Champ and Youtube STAR
"Just dropped EdLav up Dunkery!"
FTP
Functional Threshold Power - like horsepower but in your legs
"My FTP is 350"
Fat Bloke
Adam on Stava. He called himself that!
"There's a fat bloke on a bike, OH IT IS FAT BLOKE"
Fly Tipping
Accidentally catching a fly in your mouth when cycling along then spitting it out
"Eurgh, don't fly tip in my face"
Garmin (1)
A bike computer that records your speed, distance, etc
"My Garmin has auto-paused!"
Garmin (2)
A company that makes all sort of sports technology and computer-y stuff, such as heart rate monitors, bike computers, smart trainers, etc
"Garmin, please can you invent voice-activated gear changing technology"
Heart rate monitor
Cuts your man boobs in half but does an important job of measuring heart beats so you can keep an eye on if your heart is going to explode going up a hill
"This heart rate monitor must be lying today!"
Helmet
Riding hat for cyclists
"Hold on to your helmets!"
KOM
King of the Mountain - the fastest person over the specified segement is the KOM of that (named) segment
"YEESSSSS, I got the KOM!"
KOM Hunt
A cycle that is for the specific purpose of achieving a KOM/s
"I'm going on a KOM Hunt!"
KOM Hunter
Cyclist
"There's another KOM Hunter"
Kask
Hill-climbing helmet
Kudos
Thumbs up on Strava
"Kudos to you"
Little KOMer
The KOM Hunter's followers
"Hello to all my Little KOMers"
Little KOMies
What the KOM Hunter sometimes calls Little KOMers by mistake!
"Hello to all my Little KOMies"
Little Ros
Local QOM legend. Fitness fanatic. Married to Big Jay. Also loves MTB, cyclocross, running, and actually, any sort of crazy physical challenge
"Little Ros has been out mopping up the QOMs again today"
MCC
Minehead Cycling Club
MTB
Mountain bike
"They're a breed apart, those mountain bikers"
Magic Roundabout
Normal mini-rounabout but has a magical power that turns motorists' indicators off
"Be careful at the Magic Roundabout, try to guess which way the cars are going"
Merch Man
Robbie - supplier of the merchandise
"Need to speak to Merch Man about a new idea!"
Oakley Jawbones
Nat, Geraint Thomas' (and formerly Mark Cavendish's) Oakleys of choice
Oakley Jawbreakers
The KOM Hunters Oakleys of choice
"Naaaaattttt, where's my sunglasses?"
PR
What Strava calls PBs
"I think I just PR'd"
PSI
Tyre pressure
"Nat, have you checked your tyres this month?"
Paralane
Made by FOCUS. The Kom Hunters winter bike, Nat's best (only) bike
"I might take the Paralane today"
Pongo
Awesome socks
"Loving the Pongos"
Porlock
Famous for being the birth-village of the KOM Hunter. Also Porlock Hill, the steepest A-road in the UK
"Are we going up the Toll Road or Porlock Hill?"
Porlock Hill Climb
Local hill climb competition run by MCC usually held in September, up Porlock Toll Road (not Porlock Hill)
QOM
Queen of the Mountain - the fastest female over the specified segement is the QOM of that (named) segment
"She's on the prowl for a QOM today!"
Radar
Bike light/computer that lets you know when a car is coming up behind you
"Car back!"
Rear mech
Rear mechanism, the bit the chain goes onto at the back of the bike
"I've somehow picked up a worm in my rear mech"
Resting FTP
The power you can hold for 1 hour whilst standing still
"Lewis Don has a 300 watt Resting FTP"
Rocket Rob
Local KOM Hunter who Jill puts up with... Both love my vids nearly as much as "THE CHASE" on ITV
Rollers
A fancy turbo-type device but you have to balance as well as cycle
"I don't like the rollers because I keep falling off"
Runner
Cyclist that has lost their bike
"Look at that poor runner, they must've lost their bike"
Segment
A specified (named) section of a route
"Don't stop 'til after the phone box to make sure you go through the end of the segment"
Smart trainer
A tech-y turbo
Snot Rocket
The propulsion of snot from ones nose, created through the force of holding one nostril closed and exhaling swiftly through the other
Specialised Evade
KOM Hunting helmet
Stages
Measures pedal power
"Have you got stages on that bike"
Strava
Like Facebook for cyclists (oh, and runners and swimmers, and triathletes)
"If it's not on Strava, it didn't happen"
Stuart Lowen
Local Farm Shop in Minehead, home of our nearest peanut butter making machine
"Need to pop by Lowens to get some more PB for my shakes"
Superior Level
Makers of fine spirit levels, based in Minehead. 100% British made
"I'm just popping down the workshop"
Thumbnail
Little picture for YouTube clip front cover
"Your thumbnails are on point"
Track pump
A stand up bike pump
"Naaaaattttt, where's the track pump?"
TrainerRoad
Cycling software for the people that more serious about training to Zwift
Trophy
Awarded to the top 10 of a segment
"I got 4 trophies today, but no KOMs"
Turbo / Turbo Trainer
Take your back wheel off your bike and fit a turbo so you can cycle without going anywhere, i.e. indoors
"I'm doing a turbo session today"
Uncle Martin
My mums, dogs, uncle
"That was Uncle Martin, he hates cyclists"
Velodrome
Roundabout
"I love a good velodrome"
Velodrome Paul
Aka Paul A, loves to send me new velodrome ideas
Wahoo (1)
Yessssss
"Waaahhhoooooooo, the Mr/s has let me out for a cycle today!"
Wahoo (2)
A company that makes all sort of sports technology and computer-y stuff, such as heart rate monitors, bike computers, smart trainers, etc
"Naaaaattttt, where's my Wahoo?"
Wiggle
Online shop for cycling stuff (and running and triathlon stuff)
"Don't EVER give Nat my Wiggle log-in"
William Wake
One of the top 5 KOMers in Minehead
"It's William Wake!"
ZRG
Zwift Racers of Germany - a league of racers on Zwift
"I'm currently 4th in the ZRG race league"
Zwift
Indoor cycling app/game, you can use it for training and/or racing
"See you on Zwift later"